my little rebels
As human children, you are born innocent. But did you know you are born without sin unlike what you have been told and as you have come to believe. This is simply not true. Sin implies that you must pay for what you have done. Sin is an immoral transgression that goes against Divine law. And while there is some level of truth in having to learn and pay, though introspectively, for what it is you have done…your actions are not something, nor is it ever something that you should be punished for. Nor should you be punished for the actions of others brought against you.
There is also some weight in the area of Karmic law. Where there is a reaction to every action you put out into the world. However, these are simply ebbs and flows of your own energy coming back to you as a means of learning and growing and expanding past your growing edge to widen your perspective and become more steadfast and true in your personal power.
It is your guardian’s job in this life of yours to guide, protect, instruct, and realign your physical and spiritual bodies back to center. But that didn’t happen.
You are all broken. And your guardians are also broken. They have faults, as do you. They have pain, as do you. They have sorrow, as do you. While there is some fault to them because these issues are supposed to be “fixed” or “remedied” before they pass it on to another helpless child—that doesn’t happen. And so they did their best, the best with what they had—which many of the times…they didn’t have anything to give. You as a small child were unaware of the Universe’s plan and path of having you face hardships and trials as a means of soul growth and learning. So that trauma is collected deep inside your cells and soul memory and it is carried with you, throughout your life. That is, until something rises up to trigger that trauma.
Your trauma splinters in ten thousand different ways. Had you known what was to happen later in your life, you most certainly would have adjusted, bent, curved, and allowed yourself to learn in a malleable state so as to avoid these harsh traumas and pains you are facing now. BUT—that is not the case. And while, yes, it would have been quicker and easier to do this as a child there would have been no way for you to accomplish these tasks. Unless your guardians were to step in and build you up, raise you up, in the ways of learning to identify and work with the Universe’s lessons and laws of pattern breaking and perspective widening. Again—that was not the case. You could not be taught because those who were supposed to teach you were also not taught.
There are exceptions to this rule. There are exceptions to every rule. But in the false reality that you’ve chosen to live in, be born into, if you’re reading these words then that is not the case for you. You are not an exception. But there is beauty in this pain, suffering, and trauma that you have decided to claim as part of who you are. In a cumulative review of your life, all these experiences “good” and “bad” give you a colorful road map of your soul. It is the strongest of souls and hearts that is created by the deepest of wounds. You learn more of yourself in those depths. You learn more of what you can withstand. In my truth, you who have suffered has actually grown the most because you’ve had first hand experience.
Remember that you are a warrior. Remember that you are a fighter. Remember that you are stronger than you are—so much stronger than you can even imagine.
And so you are born. And you suffer. Then you die. And you suffer. Then you bring the suffering back with you as you’re born. This pattern must stop. There is no one without fault. There is no sin if everyone is a sinner. You are all simply just as you are.
It is time. It is time NOW to break this cycle of suffering you continue to enter. At this point in time, you have been given a gift. You have all this deep knowledge of yourself, your suffering, your pain, your experiences—everything. And while this may not be what you consider a true gift, if you have the right frame of mind, you could end your suffering right now.
These contracts of suffering you agree to before you’re born. And each of you do it. For some part of your existence, suffering is inevitable, yes. HOWEVER—it doesn’t need to continue. Our family trauma does not have to shape who you are. Your family trauma does not have to define you. Each of you are your own divine and light and eminent being. everlasting. light-filled. And also dark-filled. There is a delicate balance of both and all energies living inside you.
It is up to you to find that neutrality in your duality. It is up to you to take back what was taken from you—your power.
Your guardians or parents took your power away from you because they did not know how to harness and use their own power. That is not your fault. That is also not yours to assess. That is also not yours to fix. Your purpose in this life—your sole purpose in this life is to examine what’s in front of you and decide how to proceed forward. YOU are in charge of your life. YOU are in control of every reaction you put out in the world. Having such an intimate and tangible knowledge of your deepest and most darkest + lightest inner workings has given you the “upper hand” if you’ll only choose to see it.
Your only loyalty is to that of your own self.
This may seem harsh. Cold. And maybe even dishonorable to some. But you must come to see reason. You must realize that you are not a product of your environment. You overloaded your “life” coming into this physical world with emotions and choices before you could even know where to start to manage and work with those energies. Everyone is merely an actor in your play. And as for the person to your left—you are merely an actor in their play. Each and every single one of you is and should only be concerned with yourself.
Perhaps your guardians were physically abusive, addicts, absent. Every horrible act laid before you was done so for your most ultimate benefit. You had to have that experience. And in some cases where there are such atrocities brought to the most innocent of people—it is through those horrific events where a soul’s power is revealed. Their fight. Their true warrior spirit. These are where individuals rise up against all odds. But some—some will not rise. Some will “fall.” I don’t believe that you ever truly “fall.” You never really loose. This is because it’s not about what’s happened to you. It’s about what you’re going to do next knowing what you know from that horrible situation.
your life is about you, not what’s happened.
There is no easy way around it. And this may not be obvious to you yet—that’s okay…the time will come. But one day, it will become clear to you that what is happening “to” you is actually happening “for” you. What you’ve gone through, experienced, suffered through is not just to bring you down or make you sad or keep you where you’re at. It is showing you all the places you’re leaving untouched and untamed—ignored. To be afraid to dig in and explore those places because it’s painful isn’t serving you. The pain is there because you haven’t learned the lesson. Each lesson will require different depths of emotion.
“But it keeps hurting each time I think about it” or “It never seems to get better” …The lesson only hurts because you keep pulling back out and then only slightly reentering in. Think of it like a bee’s stinger. There are tiny barbs at the end of a bee’s stinger that allow it to go in smoothly when it stings. However once you attempt to remove the stinger it gets stuck because the barbs are pointing the wrong direction—causing much more pain to remove than it was to insert. As you pull away from the pain—it only causes more pain. The only way though the pain and suffering is to continue to move through to the other side. If it’s still hurting one of two things is happening. Either you’re still stuck at the beginning or you haven’t moved through to the end of your trauma’s tunnel yet.
I can assure you, there is a light at the end of each tunnel. And the hardest part is always going to be to get yourself to the point where you can make it through the tunnel in it’s entirety. It comes as part of your journey. There has to be a point in which you decide that the suffering and pain you’ve experienced or are currently experiencing is not necessary.
because it is the lesson that is necessary.
What has happened to you does not define you. It tells the story of how you got here. It tells the story of how you found your power. It tells the story of self-validation. It tells the story of self-preservation for the means of discovering your personal power.
Allowing the pain inflicted by others to affect you so deeply means you continue to drink the poison they’ve set out for you.
It’s not your place to feel so deeply for those who have caused you harm. And it’s not your place to take that pain into your physical body. Once taken into your physical body it is much harder to release it. This is because our physical body is of the Earth and your soul is not. The soul is easily transformed and affected, if it’s allowed to be, but flesh doesn’t have any choice. It’s job is to be and act as a barrier for that energy coming and going from you at all times. It’s a shield of sorts.
So while you’re avoiding the lessons and pattens coming towards you because you’re afraid they’re going to hurt (only because you’re not fully engaging with them to move through them completely) your physical body ALSO gets hit and caught in that internal struggle crossfire. This can cause all means of physical effects such as headaches, shooting pains, racing thoughts. It can also prevent you from accessing those more soft parts of yourself—your soul. The body acting as barrier in such cases not just to damper the energy coming to or from you, but then also from allowing you to dive into your own self. All the meditation in the Universe won’t get you to reach those deepest parts of yourself if you’re externally avoiding the pain or trauma you’re unwilling at those tiny levels because it hurts too much.
Your soul has the ability to heal instantaneously. But it can also be hurt just as quickly. And the storage of lessons yet to be learned at some points in your life can be unbearable for your bare soul. Which then provides a double edge sword of sorts. As you can tap into and feel both the pain you’ve experienced as well as your soul’s natural and innate ability to pickup and feel that trauma as well.
but…there is no way around this. the pain must be felt. it cannot go away until it was felt. and it will not go away until the lesson is learned.
And it mat be the case that you’ve dug in again and again. And come through the pain. And out the out the other side…but you still are experiencing this deep gnawing sense that you can’t get where you need to. Or you’re still seeing and experiencing physical symptoms. This is because your trauma splinters. You may have been encountering splinters of that pain. And healing those splinters—while still leaving the initial break yet untouched. You haven’t learned the main lesson yet. Keep going. You’re not through the tunnel yet. Keep going.
pain gets worse as you near the end of it.
It’s kind of a fail-safe mechanism your body produces in an attempt to shield you from feeling that trauma. However, not feeling it also causes deep soul-level difficulty as well. Breaking through those physical pain barriers when encountering that trauma and nearing it’s ultimate lesson are much less painful then again, the consistent gnawing of your soul aching to be healed and have you heed its lessons. Keep going.
Once that bubble bursts, it’s not as unbearable. The pain is manageable. And this process also teaches and shows you that nothing is permanent. If your suffering does seem permanent, you’re not allowing yourself to move through it to the other side. Submission is required. Allow it to happen. Feelings and patterns will not go away until they have been lived out in their entirety. Everything must come, be felt, and moved through to be completed. The only consolation is that you gain that deep experience and knowledge of your inner most self in these processes. Giving you strength, power, trust, and validation in yourself that you can continue on your path. That you build a rapport with your own self because of yourself for yourself.
It is through this pattern of building trust for showing up for yourself in those moments that you learn you CAN continue to press ahead. And it makes that process easier and easier as the lessons will continue to come forward. Because the lessons will not end. Especially if you move away from the pain they cause.
do what you’re told the first time. take your power back from what is slowly draining it. move through your pain the first time you encounter it.
It is ALWAYS less the FIRST time you encounter it. Because it is fresh, in a sense. And it also hasn’t had the time to drain you of your power that ultimately you let it take away from you.
don’t set traps for yourself.
Don’t let what happens to you be the reason you don’t proceed forward. Don’t let what happens to you be the reason you can’t get something done. Don’t let what’s happened to you define you.
Be better than that. Be better for yourself for YOU.
Don’t allow your experiences to create alternate paths of even deeper trauma.
sometimes you just need to suck it up.
Take a nice deep breath and take what’s coming—like a vaccination. Things cannot be avoided—only deterred. Deterring only leads to more suffering. And if your guardians had the appropriate parenting in their own childhoods they would have been able to relay that information and process to you. But they did not. Patterns are meant to be broken.
So go ahead, and break this one. Be better for yourself for the future of yourself. For every other life you live after this one, and before this one, and at the same time as this one. Don’t allow this trauma the liberty of effecting you in this live, other lives, and in your spirit form. In your TRUE state, your spirit form, you can be so much more easily affected by these pains and traumas. It can transform you. So in addition of suddenly realizing all that you were made to forget by being born into this life of flesh, you are also confronted with all the trauma you neglected to heal because of the “pain” of it all.
Not realizing the depth of pain you were going to encounter in that transitioned state.